If the thought of planning a wedding is starting to be much harder than you had anticipated read our editor’s honest wedding planning tips to ensure your day goes without a hitch.
This time last year I was in a tiz. My wedding was just a couple of weeks away and my to do list was getting longer by the day. I still hadn’t organised my seating plan let alone write place cards, my idea of a ‘message in a bottle’ as a guest book (we had a beach wedding) had become a disaster, as I couldn’t find a demijohn, my fiancé couldn’t find shoes, RSVP’s were missing, the options for hairstyles was endless – need I go on?
Looking back, it really didn’t need to be like this. I was lucky enough to have an efficient wedding planner, caring mother who was willing to help and two hands-on bridesmaids. Everything did work out perfectly (apart from my dress breaking but that’s a whole other story), so why did I feel the need to be the most dramatic bridezilla the world has seen? It’s simple: unrealistic planning advice!
Most of the blogs you come across and glossy articles are fluffed up by either those that have never actually planned a wedding but feel putting some pretty pictures together give them some kind of experience or well-heeled editors who spend their day creating nonsense to fill their editorial pages – note I’m not one of those “type” of editors.
So here it is. My honest, no gibberish, wedding planning advice:
Organisation
Organisation will play a key part in keeping your sanity. Ring binders and Excel spreadsheets will become your best friends. They’re great for staying on track of RSVPs, costs and tasks. It’s also useful for recording everyone’s address, which you’ll need for save the dates, invitations and thank you cards – I’m sorry to say this is a lesson I learned the hard way.
Don’t do it alone
You may want to be in control of the entire wedding but don’t be afraid to accept help. If a friend is able to assist with a specific detail take them up on the offer. A friend of mine helped with writing my table plan – her handwriting is much better than my scrawl! If the person is completely incompetent of the suggested task, politely decline.
Be Selfish
You’ll never please everyone. Understand this from the offset and the process will be a lot easier. There will always be people who can’t make certain dates, family members that don’t like your ideas, someone who doesn’t like chicken – so what? It’s your wedding day, do what makes you both happy. However, at no point never ever be nasty.
DIY Projects
Avoid like the plague. Those cute mason jars wrapped in hessian look simple enough on Pinterest but are a good way for you to wind up sobbing in a heap of stranded material two weeks before your big day. DIY cake – unless you’re Mary Berry, don’t bother.
Don’t try to be unique
No wedding is unique, so stop trying right now. Flowers, colour schemes, cute signage – it has all been done before. You’ll be able to put your own stamp on the day by just being you. Stick to your budget and stop aiming for a Kim Kardashian extravaganza of a wedding.
Research
Pinterest is great for ideas but it’s best to pay someone to make those ideas come to life. Before booking suppliers get at least three quotes to compare. Don’t be scared to bargain.
Get some courage
Don’t be scared to say no. You don’t have to like everything suppliers suggest. Learn how to say no thank you to the florist trying to add pink roses to your arrangements. Dress codes, no phone or no kids rule – get ready to show some courage against your guests. Likewise if you’ve paid for a planner or have a venue co-ordinator, make sure they’re doing the job you’ve paid them to do and speak up if you don’t think you’re getting the full service.
Favours
This can be a tricky one. It doesn’t need to be costly but there’s no need to give guests rubbish they leave on wine stained tables as the party goes on. Food of some sort is always a winner or quirky items that can be used again.
There is no perfect dress
Dress shopping was one of the most tedious things I have ever done. I pictured rows of glass-fronted stores, Champagne and sales assistants falling to my feet – wow, how wrong was I? Once you’ve tried on five dresses, all of which you hate, it becomes more of a chore. Getting changed 10 times over in every store and in my case being pinned-in to an inch of my life was not the scenario I dreamed of. Neutral seamless underwear is a must, a full face of make up so you look your best and eliminating your options quickly will be the best step forward.
Relax and enjoy
Planning a wedding is something you’ll hopefully only do once so enjoy it! In the end I decided against place cards, let people choose their own seats – one less job to do. Make planning a happy occasion. Laugh with friends and listen to music – and when it becomes too much? Throw in the towel and go to the pub with your bridesmaids!
